Shoulda... Coulda... Woulda... (Part 2)
Updated: Jan 25
I taught my oldest daughter when she was 4- years old that mommy knows everything because God tells me! She would always be amazed when I would know something without her telling me about it first! She'd call it magic. I'd call it pure mother's intuition. I would laugh at how amazed she would be when I would know the exact time to enter the room before she was in my nail polish or about to venture into uncharted territories - also known as the UNFINISHED CRAWL SPACE!
"MORIYA!" I would yell and startle the poor child to tears. She would be so upset that I would know when I needed to show up. It was not always that way. Shoot... it still ain't! But four kiddos later you learn to just trust that good ole gut feeling telling you "go check on the kids!"
I like to think of God this way. He always shows up RIGHT WHEN He is needed. This was not always a truth I believed; yet alone a truth that I could accept. I wanted God to show up when I SAID to show up. I know... funny right?
In my last post I shared how I needed to apply the truth that God is in control of everything. Every detail. Every scenario. Every crazy thing. Every normal thing. I play a part only by God's choice to allow me to play a part. BUT why? Why can I NOT have FULL control over my life's story? I heard God say the following: "I am the author."
Perfect timing right? I laughed. Well well well... I guess God told me! But the thought continued to echo- " I am the author". This really was resonating with me. If God is the author, I am just a part of a story that I honestly don't know much about. I am just a created character within a story. I don't know what page I entered this story. Shoot... I don't even know what chapter we are on? But God has literally strategically pulled together this story and created my character to play a part in a story that I can honestly say I don't know much about. I only know what the author has penned thus far. I don't know what's to come. THIS IS REALLY BUGGING ME OUT A BIT!
You see... my shoulda, coulda, woulda that launched this whole though process have no place in this story if God is the author. Think about it! What character can jump out of a story and tell the author:
"HEY! YOU! Stop right there because the story should go this way!"
"Yo... I think things could work out better if you do it like this."
"Well if you really think your way makes more sense, but I would do it this way."
As I say to my friends all the time: WHERE THEY DO THAT AT? (i know, i know... that's not good English...) BUT REALLY! That makes no sense at all!
I recalled immediately a verse from Hebrews 12:2 that reads: "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Now, I typically NEVER cite from the King James Version (don't ask...long story... rooted in my love for the word and many years of seminary) but I personally like how this translation captures the imagery of the passage. You see, this writer of Hebrews opens this chapter with very familiar race metaphor. This sets the stage for the reader to visualize how Christians will endure a great amount in life, but we must commit to the completion of the race ahead. Just like a runner completes the set course of a race.
The runner hears, "ON YOUR MARK"! This signals the runner that it is time to start their race - aka the story that God is writing while they run this race!
Now the runner knows to get into position to take off. As the runner I know it is time to set my faith... my focus.. my all on Jesus - besides we know that he is that author and finisher of this race! Shoot....He literally took up the cross for MY RACE STORY. He knows my doubts...my questions... my fears... my deepest hunger...
Jesus is asking, "Are you ready? You should be.... you could be... you would be if you are ready to drop the excuses and trust me... and trust this process! So whatcha waiting for?"
"GO!" The runner takes off...
So, what have I learned. God is waiting on me to run this race story that He wrote. So Let's do this! No more shoulda, coulda, wouldas because God has already finished it all!