Updated: Jan 25, 2020
Years ago my husband's grandmother - Grandma Bea - was having a conversation with me about my legs- they were often a topic whenever I wore a skirt. We would laugh and joke about the "Wow! Look at your legs!" comments. It never really bothered me because who does not like receiving a compliment? Well, this particular day she zoned in a little more and asked me "Are your legs heavy?" The comments caused an uproar of laughter. I laughed so hard. She looked so concerned, yet amazed that I was able to walk with these "ole heavy legs". We still joke about the"heavy legs" comment to this day.
A few days ago I found myself thinking about her comment. I chuckled as I glanced down at my legs. Realizing, these legs have been through quite a bit since then. If only she were still here to see these ole heavy legs. They have a few bruises now - signs of me crawling around with my kiddos on the floor, clumsey moments, and prayer closet moments. I thought for a moment (lol) - sheesh I really need to exfoliate. Memories flashed through my head as I recalled the events that triggered the marks on my legs. Then I literally heard a voice say "But you're still walking".
I have had some heavy moments in my life that could've easily been grounds for me to stop walking. I've cried out to God plenty of times to remove this heavy weight of life. Yelling to God, "It's just too heavy! I can't do it." But those are the moments where I knew it was time to get into the proper stance to bare down and use these heavy legs to push through. The perfect example of this is when you are dead lifting - yes I know a little bit about this because I had a coach who was teaching me how to do it properly. There was a certain stance I had to position my body to properly lift the heavy weight. I was even instructed to remove my shoes to make sure my feet were evenly distributed to avoid injury. MY LEGS had to be properly positioned to lift the weight so I would not injure myself. My whole body was working together, but my legs had to stay in the proper position to lift the weight correctly. And honestly - my legs were doing a lot of the work while lifting the heavy weight. SIDE BAR: I know I know... you are thinking, what the heck is she getting at, but stay with me. You see, your legs are the largest muscle group in your body. I used to DREAD leg day at the gym, but would always be surprised at how strong my legs were. I would leave the gym wanting to crawl. My legs definitely felt heavier the more I worked out, but they were getting stronger each day! I could see it and feel it... I NEVER liked it in the midst of the burning pain of working through it, BUT nevertheless I bared down and pushed through it.
This is the same practice we have to apply to our individual lives. We all can likely say we've encountered moments where the heaviness of life made our ability to walk through it seem and/or feel impossible. Those moment when we have dropped to the floored and SCREAMED to the top of our lungs I cannot do it. It is too hard. I'm tired Lord. When life is hitting you with one thing after another. When you cannot get the answers you need to move forward! When you don't understand why you lost the person who meant the most to you. When you are struggling to figure out how to feed your family. When you are so overwhelmed that your mind is racing and you cannot figure out where to start because the anxiety has taken over and now you are ready to quit altogether. The heaviness of life has won. Your legs are buckling... they are just too heavy. So you fall... you fall down on your knees. You cry. You pound the ground. The heaviness seems to have won!
I have been here... more times than I'd like to admit. I have learned to take that moment and turn it into an experience. Those moments when I have fallen under the heaviness are the moments when I pray the hardest on my knees! Here is a fun fact that I am pretty sure we all learned in Human Anatomy class: Your knee is the largest joint in your body. It operates like a hinge and gives your lower leg (and foot) permission to swing back and forth so you can walk, run, etc. So think about this: those heavy moments that bring you to your knees bring us to God! Allow that knee to operate as the joint that connects you to God. When you fall to your knees under the heaviness of life, that is the time you need to be in the presence of God. You don't have to stand right now... allow those heavy legs to fall to your knees. It is time to enter into the presence of God...worship... cry out... surrender it all! Be connected to Him and let Him do what He does best - Lift you back up so you can stand... heavy legs and all!